When people ask me what I do for a living, I often feel embarrassed to say that I’m a stay at home mom. Most of the time I quickly qualify my statement with the fact that I just got out of the Navy (a year and half ago!), that I’m finishing my degree (1 class away), and that day-care is just ridiculously expensive. I say all of these things because I’ve always felt like being a mom isn’t a respectable job, and that I need to be doing other things with my life in order to be “right” with society.
When did being a mom suddenly become such a undesirable job, and when did it loose it’s value and meaning? When did we stop looking at moms as heros and start scorning women who didn’t have “real jobs?” I’m here to tell you that through my own soul searching, and kitchen scrubbing I’ve realized being a mom is a lost art, an art that is no longer appreciated. It’s a real job, and it isn’t easy, in fact it’s down right hard!
I’ve had a “real” job before, where I woke up every morning smoothed my hair back into a perfect bun, applied my make-up, slipped into my uniform, made sure my ribbons were straight, and then I headed out the door. I loved my morning commute to work where I would stop religiously for my morning cup o’ joe, and occasional scone. Even on my worst days at work people usually heard what I was saying and followed through, and when they didn’t, I just referred the issue to my boss. I worked diligently, sometimes really hard and sometimes long hours, but I was always rewarded for my efforts. I never got less than a sincere thank you, and I was recipient to my fare share of awards and letters. My job was great because it was structured, relatively stress free, and I knew what to expect everyday.
Fast forward to my current job; stay at home mom. My subordinates openly defy me as they are undeterred by intensive training. They require me to make all their meals, take lunch and snack breaks whenever they please, and I have to clean up after them. They urinate on the carpet and I clean it, they stain all of their clothes, they strip down naked, and sometimes they just down right walk right out without permission. They cannot be left unattended for even a moment which makes accomplishing any other tasks set before me extremely difficult. They are down right destructive, and they cost the company hundreds of dollars annually by damaging our property. Despite constant prodding they cannot dress themselves, or clean up their messes, and they certainly don’t return equipment to the designated area. They are even brash enough to attempt to enter the hazmat locker without proper training or approved PPE.
Not once in the almost 3 years since I’ve taken on the job of mother have I ever received a letter of commendation, or achievement. Heck, I haven’t even seen a yellow sticky note of appreciation on the fridge. What I do see on the fridge are grubby hands prints which mean we must have yet another single man field day. A field day which I must plan, organize, and execute. We field day often around here for fear of CPS taking the children away (Where are Parent Protective Services when you need them?).
This brings me to my original point….the mom job is not easy, and it’s especially not easy when you do it all day long.
It really is no joke that momma makes the world go ‘round. From brushing teeth to folding laundry, and scrubbing pee off the toilette created by those misguided launches. We should be proud of all we do, not shamed for not having a “real” job. Is there any job that’s more real than raising tiny feral children into socially acceptable human beings? Take pride in your labor of love mommas! Shout at the top of your lungs that you keep your house clean, feed your family spiritually and physically, and nurture them in a way no other could ( I mean really, who else is going to ensure the butterflies are always facing up on their blankey?). Be proud that you foster their dreams, and 20 years from now know that this job really was the best paying job you ever had.
